College Choir Boy’s Crying Mama

We walked into the church and as I looked up across the foyer there he was my grown up boy (man) dressed in a tailored tuxedo ready for the University Thanks and Praise choir concert to begin.  Oh my heart was full.  He looked so dapper, and I must say a little like Luciano Pavarotti with the big beard he sported. He smiled and walked towards us and then engulfed me in the hug that only my giant boy does, and I felt joy.  We chatted a minute and then walked in with my parents to find a seat.  I couldn’t just sit and wait though because Zachary was going to be arriving soon and I was thrilled to be able to see him as well.  It does a mother’s heart good to know that both of my boys are at the same college, live on the same floor and even choose to do things together.  Not only did Zachary come to encourage his brother, but also a few of Mitchell’s close friends including his lovely fiancé Courtney.  I was feeling all of the love before the concert even began. 

Now I have never been a public crier.  I never even used to cry very much.  I have friends that cry at the drop of a hat, but me, nope, I always have cried in my heart but not much out of my eyes…until…. well, I just don’t know but it’s been recently.  I looked down the row of where we were sitting and saw my family.  The whole row was my family.  I was so very thankful to be there.  You see last year my parents went and had to tell me how great the choir concert was because we were out of the country and couldn’t go.  My heart broke at missing many important milestones of Mitchell who was at college.  But you make it work, sometimes anyway you can.  One evening he Skyped us in to hear his guitar concert and another night Skyped us in as all of his friends cut off his looooong hair and shaved him bald.  But last night, to actually be there was pure and utter joy.

The huge choir walked up onto the platforms (tall, bearded boy in back of course).  The first song began and the beauty of the words, the harmony, the presence of God and my full mother’s heart started this urgent need for me to cry.  Tears began to form in my eyes making my boy too blurry to see.  Then I had to hold back really hard the loud, sobbing cries that one only does behind closed doors or in the shower. I just sat there thanking the Lord for the privilege of allowing me to be right there at that moment.  I got myself somewhat under control as we all sang a congregational hymn. 

I’d like to tell you that that first song was the end of my heart almost turning inside out with the need to weep giant tears, but it wasn’t.  Heaven came down when they sang a rendition of And Can it Be(of course one of my very favorite hymns).  I leaned over to my mother and said, “don’t mind me if I sit here and cry like a baby.”  She smiled.  The song was majestic and my son’s voice added to the chorus of what I felt at that moment that only Heaven could provide.  I was in a divine moment.  God was giving me a glimpse of what Heaven would be and I liked it.  Tears streamed from my eyes as I tried to control myself from just sitting there and sobbing.  Fortunately my mom came to the rescue with a Kleenex and within a few songs my contacts were blurry no longer and I could just sit, smile and enjoy the songs of thanks and praise.  How could things be anymore perfect and how could I even begin to tell God how thankful I was for him allowing me to be there?  There were no words.   

We have so much to be thankful for. There are those big things that happen that catch our attention and the small things that are with us everyday that if we are not careful we forget to give thanks.  As we look ahead at this week of Thanksgiving let’s allow Psalm 100 lead the way for us. If you feel the need to cry big, happy, joyful, thankful tears then go right ahead and do it.  I like to think that it makes God smile when he acknowledge to Him the things in which we are thankful.

             Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving grateful praise.

1Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

2 Worship the Lord with gladness;

    come before him with joyful songs.

3 Know that the Lord is God.

    It is he who made us, and we are his[a];

    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving

    and his courts with praise;

    give thanks to him and praise his name.5 

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;

    his faithfulness continues through all generations.