When I got married and said
my vows to my husband Brian, I meant every word. Just out of college, in love, the world in
front of us, I rarely thought of getting old and what that could and would mean
in our marriage. In sickness and in health at that time meant giving a Kleenex
to Brian when he had a cold, or making him warm soup---I could do that.
We focused on building a home
together, long walks holding hands, going to church, the movies and vacations
together. This stuff was all physically
easy. I was young, my body was in shape
and the marriage world was our oyster!
Fast forward 25 years into
marriage and we both have our share of aches and pains. We are no longer the super “in shape” kids
that we used to be, we have bottle of Biofreeze in the medicine cabinet (the
“new” Bengay—less stinky), we have our multi-vitamins and Brian and I each have
our own—yes our own heating pads. There
are just too many times we both need it at the same time. Sad. I ask myself,
“What has happened to my body?” I’m
aging. I don’t like it but I can’t stop
it. What if myself or my husband get to
the point where we hurt so badly that walking is hard, just getting into the
car is hard, etc… In the future will I be the kind of wife that I promised to
be in 1990 when my husband doesn’t fell well and may need more assistance than
just giving him a Kleenex or warm soup?
What if he needs me to help him into the car or hold onto him as we walk
into church? 25 years ago that never
crossed my mind.
Why does this all come to my
mind today? We have a friend who died
about 3 weeks ago at the age of 79. I
honestly had only known him and his wife since we moved here four months
ago. This man was a Godly man and
encouraged us as if we’d known him for years.
He was kind of like the uncle that always is there to say kind words and
lift you up. At age 37 he had his first heart attack and at that time began the
reality for him and his wife of what “in sickness and in health” truly
meant. For so long he was in tremendous
pain, had a hard time getting around without assistance and was so frustrated
by it. He was a man’s man, a hunter,
fisherman, coach, and in his earlier years a football player at CMU. When he and his wife married I’m sure they
didn’t think that the struggles that he would endure would come so soon. But yet his wife lovingly cared for him for
so many years. She told me more than
once, “It was a privilege to be by his side for 57 years and take care of
him.” Wow. She took her vows of “in sickness and health”
very seriously.
In the few short months that
we have been here I’ve watched her gently care for him and with a deep love in
which she does it. I heard him thank her
and speak kindly to her. True and lastly
love knows no age, it just is. It has
taught me a huge lesson of what the words “in sickness and in health”
means. It means sticking together even
when it’s not easy. It’s caring for the
other person as if you were caring for yourself—because you are one. It means sacrificing things you may like to
do for the benefit of the other person.
Ward and Norma taught me a wonderful lesson about the true vows of
marriage. I want to be just like them
when I grow up.
