What is your compassion level?

Yesterday in our small group we discussed the word compassion and what did it truly means to each of us.  We had all sort of examples from our lives and how we have or haven’t fully embraced what Jesus wishes for us to act in this area.  After much discussion we looked up what the word meant.  The Oxford Dictionary stated that compassion is sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.  Though we understood the definition it seemed so cold to us.  We felt like we needed better wording of what compassion trul

y is. Today I decided to do some searching in Bible Study Tools about this word.  Here’s what I found.  Compassion (noun), a form of love, is aroused within us when we are confronted with those who suffer or are vulnerable. Compassion often produces action to alleviate the suffering, but sometimes geographical distances or lack of means prevent people from acting upon their compassionate feelings.  I liked this definition better because it made the word compassion, which is a noun, into a verb as we feel the need to act to alleviate the hurt or suffering.   Compassion takes action.

I recall several months ago phoning a friend because I really needed to talk and I really need her to give me compassion.  I needed a listening ear and to be reassured that I was going to be ok.  I wanted her to have concern for what I was going through and then work through with me how to alleviate that pain.  Instead I received something totally different.  When I wanted that one phone call to be all about me it became all about her.  (Now I know many of you are sitting there wondering if you were the friend I talked to—no worries, you probably weren’t.)  I began talking about some of the hurts that I was experiencing and it quickly turned into minutes of all of her hurts and sufferings, etc….  Normally I am the one to have compassion as I talk to a friend about what they are suffering, but this day I was crushed.  I just wanted one thing—compassion.  When I didn’t receive it I was devastated. 

This is just a one-time example of something that in the long run really wasn’t really a big deal. However, it did get me thinking about how many times we are so focused on ourselves or so busy running from this thing to that that we don’t take the time to even realize or see that someone right in front of us might need to receive a bit of compassion.   So what are we to do?  Here are a few things from my own observations that can help us to be more aware of the people around us that may need compassion. 

1.  Be aware of others around you.  How many times do we literally walk by someone we know in the grocery store and we don’t see them?  We are so focused on our list and getting out of the store that we just pass people by.  What if the person we pass by is the lady that just lost her husband?  What if it’s the mother of 4 children that is dying inside because she feels unworthy with horrible self-esteem?  Each of these people could have used 30 seconds of our conversation and compassion to help them along with their day.

2.  Listen.  Really Listen.  I don’t know about you, but I have a habit of doing the “uh-huh. Oh, really?  Isn’t that something?”  But I’m not truly listening 100%.  Or what about the church foyer when you ask someone how they are doing and you are expecting the standard, “I’m good, thanks” Instead the person stops and really starts telling you how they are.  Oh bother, am I ready for this?  Can I listen to this person and really give them the compassion that they need? 

3.  Don’t make it always about you. We all are busy, we all have our struggles, issues and problems but we need to remember that others do as well.  It’s not all about us.  Having compassion means to forgo our hurts for a moment so that we can focus on and try to alleviate the hurt and pain of others. 

4.  Make a plan. Plan each day or each week to intentionally seek people out that you know need compassion.  I know that it’s easier not too.  I know that it’s easier to dodge them in the grocery store, or walk the other way when you see them at work or school. 

Matthew 14:14 says that When Jesus went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.  What I love about this verse is that I know that he saw the crowd from the water and he could have turned that boat around and gone the other way, but he didn’t.  He went ashore and saw that the people needed compassion and began healing them. 

What’s your compassion level going to be this week….and next week?  Don’t let the business of your life or the desire to always talk about your hurts and sorrows keep you from being compassionate to others.

What are your Cravings?

This past Saturday night we spent the night in a hotel.  Like anytime we get to stay at a hotel it’s a fun adventure and it’s just nice to getaway from the usual.  The weather up north where we were was -12 with a wind chill of -36.  Needless to say we didn’t go out and do any skiing or snowmobiling in the town so known for such winter activities.  We drank coffee and ordered a pizza to take back to our hotel room.  I’m not sure why, maybe from the cold, but we were just plain tired.  By 7 p.m. we were ready to sleep.  (We’re just a blast when we get a night out on the town and get to stay in a hotel!)

We fumbled around with the heater because around the insert there was a major draft of cold air.  With the temperature the way that it was it wasn’t just a little annoying draft, it was a downright uncomfortable one.  We told the hotel lady who had to come into our room to fix something else. She shared with us that on this night it was pretty common for the rooms to have such a draft and that some people had to be moved to another room because snow was actually coming in through the areas next to the heaters.  Ok, that’s downright cold.  Burrrr.  We adjusted the heat and hunkered down in the covers and proceeded to sleep.  I was so very tired and couldn’t get to sleep.  One hour passed.  Two hours passed.  Three hours passed.  Seriously, I’m still awake?  Are you even kidding me?  I CRAVE sleep!!  Apparently I fell asleep because both Brian and I were jolted awake at 2:25 a.m. by the sound of the fire alarm and strobe lights flashing in our room.  We both jumped up searching for a light switch so that we could acclimate ourselves.  Before we could even get a light on, the sound and the strobe lights stopped.   With much annoyance we crawled back into bed and Brian fell right to sleep. 

I have to admit that I whimpered and whined a bit as I harshly tossed and turned because I could not get back to sleep.  I had just gotten to sleep and then that sound—that awful sound.  I craved sleep.  I wanted sleep and nothing else.  I finally got back to a fitful sleep only to awaken early to be greeted by the frigid cold and wind chill.  Needless to say I was grumpy.  I stood in the shower that didn’t work properly and I craved sleep.  I tried to iron my husband’s shirt with the hotel provided iron that wouldn’t turn on and I craved sleep.  I went down to get some coffee and I still craved sleep.  It was going to be a very long day.

Think about a time that you craved something so much and it was just out of your reach.  You had had a tiny glimpse of it before, but you just craved this and wanted nothing else.  Oftentimes the things we crave are things that are not the things that God would want us to crave—things that would go against the good that He has for us.  Have you ever just craved Him?  Have you ever just walked through your day and said, “All I want is more of You God.  I can’t get enough of You.”  You go through your workday and crave more time with Him.  You are in the grocery store shopping and all you can think of is going home and spending more time with Him.  You’ve had those little glimpses of Him and you want more. You crave Jesus. 

Just like the night that I spent craving sleep, I want to crave Jesus.  I want more of Him.  I want to know Him more and I want to serve Him more.  What do you crave this day?

"What will Your Kids Remember? (written by my friend Lisa)

Recently I had a very discouraging moment as a parent.  One of my kids flippantly said,   “When I have my own kids, I am going to be just like so and so and do all of the fun things they do with their kids. I don’t remember doing anything like that when I was little.” As a mom that makes a point to plan and do fun things with my children, I was shocked and replied, "Really? We did and do LOTS of fun things. Lots!" With this dear child replying "Maybe, but I don't remember." 

Since this conversation, I have been thinking a great deal about what I truly wish my children will remember. Of course, being the devoted mother that I am, I was slightly hurt, knowing that we did every bit as much of the fun things so and so is doing with her much younger kids. I shared this conversation I had with my child with some friends, all of which gave me many suggestions on how to make sure they do remember; photos and scrapbooks, videos, journals, writing down quotes, recording events on calendars, writing yearly memories with each child, and many more. All of these suggestions are excellent and would be wonderful to do, however, it did leave me feeling a bit overwhelmed and jaded with guilt that I haven’t recorded, in some way, every waking and sleeping moment of my five children’s lives. How will they know we did anything? How will they know I loved them? What if they feel shortchanged because I haven’t written their biographies yet? Or that I haven’t dedicated a whole room in the house as “The Children’s Hall of Memories?” I thought, is that it then? Have I failed because they don’t remember homemade play dough or trips to the park or reading millions of books? Nope. I settled on the hope that they will remember an overall experience; how they feel when they think about their childhood and their family relationships.  I can have faith that, in the end, the overall essence that they were loved, valued, and encouraged is what permeates their memory.

They probably won’t remember every toy, device, or other material thing they had                                                                         but they will hopefully remember there were                                                                                     hours of discussion spent as a family on any and                                                                                     every topic imaginable.

They probably won’t remember every craft, game, and activity I did with them or every field trip, vacation, or event we attended,

                                                but they will hopefully remember that we did                                                                                     things together.

They probably won’t remember our older cars, stained carpeting, or limited home decor,

                                                but they will hopefully remember we made                                                                                     investing in their education, building life                                                                                                 experiences, and developing them as people a                                                                                           priority.

They probably won’t remember every lesson, devotional, or fabulous teachable moment,

                                                but they will hopefully remember we cared                                                                                     enough to take the time TO teach them and build                                                                                     into their character.

They probably won’t remember the everyday drudgery of school and work (well, OK, maybe they will on this one),

                                                but they will hopefully remember how to work                                                                                     hard, manage a house hold, handle money, serve                                                                                     others, and use their spare moments wisely :)

They probably won’t remember every crisis or problem we dealt with,

                                                but they will hopefully remember that we gave                                                                                     every effort to work through our problems.

They probably won’t remember all of my specific mistakes and struggles,

                                                but they will hopefully remember that I truly

                                                loved the Lord and sought to obey Him even                                                                                     when it went against the main stream.

They probably won’t remember every word or action that I said or did to make them feel loved,

                                                but they will hopefully remember feeling loved.

They may not remember all of the specific details of their childhoods,

                                                but they will hopefully remember the general                                                                                     feelings of fun, purpose, warmth, and love by                                                                                     

which it was characterized.

I will do my best to record and save “memories” for them, but ultimately the memories are best found in the make-up of who each of them is becoming and in the relationships that we continue to share.  When they are grown up may they take the valuable things that they “didn’t remember,” and in some way pass them along to their own children to “not remember.” 

Diamonds in the Rough

This past weekend my husband a spent the weekend with one of our Free Methodist churches doing missions stuff.  We travel a lot and see a lot of people and so, though I recognize faces, I sometimes have a terrible time connecting the face with the place and remembering the name is half the time impossible.  As I walked into the church I greeted people and walked into the kitchen to where the ladies were working and I wanted to say hello.  Right there inside the door stood a gal I hadn’t hardly seen in 25 years but remembered well.  It was Carole. What a surprise!

Carole and I embraced and laughed at the years gone by and most importantly remembered our college dorm floor that we had both lived on at the same time for 2 years.  Delta II Diamonds in the Rough as we were called then.  We were reminded of that daily as we walked through the hall and saw the big motto painted in blues for all to see. 

It was fun to see a friend from college that I hadn’t seen in years! Then I began remembering the person that I was my first few years of college and I began to think, “Oh no, what if she thinks I’m the same person that I was then?”  I knew she wouldn’t do this, but I had visions of her going to her pastor’s wife and saying, “Do you realize the kind of girl that you brought in to speak to us tonight?”  You see, I went to a Christian college and I my first few years there I was enjoying my freedom, working out who I really was and not thinking of being the person for Christ that I knew I should be.  That must give you quite a visual of what I may have done.  The funny thing is that I didn’t drink or do illegal things as many college students finding their way often does.  I was the kind of girl that thought I was really something; that many times was unkind to people, made fun of people, was loud and obnoxious, pulled pranks (well, I still do that but we’re talking today about then…), burped the full alphabet loudly in the hallway.  I think you get the picture. 

As I stood there talking to Carole, all of those things began flooding back into my mind.  Twenty-five years later the person that I had been back then still embarrassed me.  I was embarrassed because I could have been someone better for Christ and I wasn’t.  I was embarrassed that she knew me back then but hadn’t really known me since.  I was embarrassed so much so that I said to her, “Just so you know, I’m a different person now than I was back then.”  Wow, to even have to say that made me feel icky. 

We had a wonderful weekend with the people of this church and it was so fun reconnecting with Carole again after so many years.  You know, we are all at some point those Diamonds in the Rough.  I never realized how very true that floor motto was for us.  To look back over the last 25 years and see what God has done in my life has been incredible.  He has changed me in ways that would take many pages of writing to explain.  He took a rough girl and worked to soften her around the edges and continues to make me into the beautiful diamond that He sees that I can be to shine brightly for Him. 

I was able to stand up in front of the church and share how God has used this diamond in the rough for His glory.  What a great feeling to know that our past is our past and that He uses our present and our future.  That motto on Delta II has long been painted over, just a memory of years gone by. For those of us that lived on that floor, we will carry it in our hearts forever.  There is a pride of telling people that we lived on Delta II.  Though we may have gray in our hair and walk a little slower we still are those diamonds in the rough. Daily we are being made into that perfect jewel that God would have us to be.  It’s safe to say that we’ll never be that flawless diamond until we make it to heaven because here on this earth we will always be a little rough around the edges.  I can’t end without telling you what Carole did ask me,  “Can you still burp the whole alphabet?”   I’ll let you wonder about that one.

Are You Exhausted from Plowing Your Own Path?

Yesterday (Super Bowl Sunday), we were traveling the roads of east Michigan and wondering how much snow we were truly going to get.  At first we heard 1-3 inches and then 6-9.  I don’t think anyone but God himself really knew for sure how much we would receive by the end of the Superbowl Day Snowstorm.  On our way home and the winds whipped across the roads from the open fields we started to hear a strange clunking on the van.  Thinking there was just a large buildup of snow around the tires we kept driving, as we were only about 10 minutes from home.  When the clunking got unusually loud, Brian knew at that moment it must be a flat tire.  My wise words of wisdom of one who knows nothing about cars were, “can we just limp it home because we are so close because it’s almost kickoff time for the Super Bowl?”  Brian told me we’d have to pull over and change it then and there or we’d ruin the rim.  I felt deflated.  (Yes, I kind of had to use that word as the controversy around one of the teams playing in the Superbowl had to do with deflated balls).  The awesome man that he is, my husband stood on the side of the road, wind chills below zero and snow flying every which way, changing our shredded tire.  One person stopped when he was almost finished and asked if we needed help.  We finally made it home on our little donut of a tire and parked in our drive, only to miss half of the first quarter of the football game.

The snow continued to fall throughout the night and we awoke to a winter wonderland.  It was so beautiful.  The sunshine hit the new fallen snow in such a way that heightened its beauty.  I had forgotten, after living in warm, sunny Mexico for several years, how gorgeous this part of God’s creation can be.  Then I remembered that the dog had to go out and the van had to be taken into Wal-Mart for a new tire.  There was 11 inches of snow that had fallen and drifts up to 6 feet around the house  (including my dogs bathroom area).  I had to go out in it and literally begin digging out.  I was deflated once again.  Couldn’t I just sit by my picture window wrapped in my blanket with my cup of coffee just enjoying the view?  Not today, not today!  So out I went.

As I dug a path to the dog pen and to the doors of the van, my sweet neighbor came out on her deck and yelled over that she would have the guys that plow her driveway come over and plow ours.  As I hung over the shovel, out of breath, I was so very thankful for her offer. Someone that was going to plow the path for me.  Thank you Lord.  I parked my van in the front of my house and dug another path from the road to my front door.  I finished out by digging a path for the tires of my van just to get out of the drive. How could there be so much snow?  So. Much. Snow.  I was exhausted digging a path for myself to get from one place to the next. 

Do you ever get exhausted, even deflated trying to plow your own way in this life?  Paths are necessary, but we were not meant to make them on our own.  It reminded me of these two verses from Proverbs.  The first one from Proverbs 16:9 that says, A person plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.  And also Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  I’ll be honest, when my neighbor told me that I was going to have a helper today with my snow paths, I was pretty excited.  The thought of doing it on my own was overwhelming.  In the same way, if I daily try to make my own way I am going to get tired and discouraged.  If I allow God to lead the direction and plow the path ahead, all I need to do is be obedient and follow him.  I sure like this idea best—no sore muscles!