Saturday
was the annual Christmas tea for our church. My daughter had plans so I was going by myself. I figured that I would know someone
there and just sit with them and enjoy a nice time of food and fellowship. As I walked into the church my next-door
neighbor, who owns a group home for the elderly, had her car parked right up by
the door. She was helping one of
the ladies who live at the home out of the car to go into the church. I found out then that she had brought
all 5 of the ladies from the home.
I knew that this was not an easy thing for her to do and so I helped her
get Chris out of the car and then offered to park her car for her so that she
could slowly walk Chris into the church.
When
I arrived in the fellowship hall, it was only natural that I gravitated towards
the table where these sweet, dear ladies were sitting. They were my next-door neighbors and
from time to time I would go over and visit with them and laugh with them. Most all of the gals that lived there
had some form of dementia or Alzheimer’s and so I always had to reintroduce
myself to them. Though they didn’t
remember my name and that I lived next door they most always remembered me…..I
think. A few of the ladies had
their daughters with them but two of them did not. I sat next to Betty a wonderful, spunky 94-year-old lady
with a wonderful sense of humor.
As
I sat down I reminded Betty of whom I was and that I was her neighbor. We talked a little bit about Christmas
and how nice it was to be at this luncheon. Then she asked me if Joanne Stanford was there. Not knowing everyone at the Christmas
tea I told her that I was not sure.
My friend who owns the home overheard her ask me and she said, “No
Betty, your friend Joanne lives in Lapeer and we are in Sandusky.” Betty seemed to be okay with that
answer and we continued visiting.
She asked me where we were and I told her that we were at the fellowship
hall of the church. She asked me
again if Joanne was there. I told
her that no she was not but then asked her who Joanne was. What I found out was that Joanne was
her friend. I don’t know from how
far back in her life but it was evident that she was someone very special to
her. She associated being in
church with seeing her friend Joanne.
She began to tell me that Joanne’s middle name of Elaine and that her
middle name of Lorraine and so they would go around and say Betty Loraine and
Joanne Elaine because it rhymed. It brought joy to my heart to hear this dear
lady talk about this friend that at some point in her life had had such an
impact on her. I was sad that I
couldn’t bring Joanne to her as it seemed so important to her. I didn’t even know if Joanne was even
alive or where she might live now, but Betty seemed to be content with her memories
of this friendship from years past.
The
time eating lunch and visiting was accompanied by the wonder of the littlest
things. There was a Christmas bulb
at each place setting and when I told Betty that it was a gift for her, I saw
her eyes light up and she exclaimed, “How wonderful!” Then when she saw the little Christmas stocking with
chocolates in it she just couldn’t believe how nice and special the people had
made this luncheon. When I asked
if she wanted white cake, cherry cake or a brownie for dessert she said, “well
a brownie of course.” Yes, of
course.
Betty
may not remember each time that I am her neighbor, or what my name is but there
are some things that even someone with dementia won’t forget; the taste of a
chocolate brownie over cherry cake, the joy of receiving a gift and the
memories of times past of a good friend.
Good friends are hard to find, especially those that will last a
lifetime. I’m glad that I was able
to sit with Betty that day and be reminded of the important things in
life. Betty Loraine and Joanne Elaine—it does have a nice ring to
it doesn’t it? (Betty is pictured in the bottom right-hand corner)
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